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| Relating with your million dollar mentor. |
My dear friend, the lesson I learnt from that experience is that: half medication causes health relapse. Just like half medication causes health relapse, half information causes destiny relapse. So having learnt in the last edition how to "Discover Your Million Dollar Mentor", I will like us to discuss in this sequel "Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor."
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| "If you know where you are going..." |
My dear friend, please always remember that mentorship is a (destiny) relationship (between the protégé and his or her mentor), and for any relationship to thrive, there are certain vital relational skills that must be understood and put to work. Having located the kind of personality that you believe best fits to mentor you (your million dollar mentor) you have got to initiate this relationship by approaching him or her, before you can relate with this personality.
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| Meeting your million dollar mentor. |
Seek audience with him or her informally first, ( i.e in person, verbally expressing your desire or request ) particularly if he or she is within your geographical reach. There are instances where your preferred mentor(s) may be beyond your reach, (geographically) you can bridge this gap through telephone calls, e-mail, fax etc. to express your request. This second option is however the only option opened to those who may not have their preferred mentor(s) within their reach geographically and may not be disposed to be able to meet the preferred mentor in person. I mean for example, if a protege resides in Dallas Texas in America, preferred mentor resides in Lagos, Nigeria and the protege can't afford the traveling expenses to go meet with his preferred mentor, I suggest he or she (potential mentee) should employ e-mail, telephone etc. to connect with the potential mentor.
However, for utmost effectiveness in mentorship relationship, one-on-one contact of the protégé with the mentor is advisable. Though for mentees with their mentors out of their geographical reach, after the mentorship relationship has commenced, the protege can be mentored through e-mail from his mentor, his or her mentor's news letters, tapes, CDs, VCDs, DVDs, books, articles in journals, magazines or blogs like this one. For instance with about 158 of my mentees dotting three continents, some of them in the past years could have only received Mentorship from me through the electronic, print and new media. As helpful as that has been in the facilitation of my Mentorship programme with some of my mentees that are far flung from me, I must reiterate that regular one-on-one contact with your mentor is expedient if you must make the most of Mentorship relationship.
Having met your mentor, first informally, and verbalising your request, you’ve got to make it formal by writing a formal letter to your would-be mentor (because mentorship is a serious relationship for the focused and those with their mind set on their future and desirous of making the most of destiny), referring to your last visit where you verbally sought a mentorship relationship with him or her, thank him or her for the audience granted you. State the purpose of your seeking this relationship, which is for him or her to be your career or relationship or business or professional or ministry or destiny etc. mentor. Commend and let him or her know you admire his or her enviable achievements (in personal and professional life-especially in the area you need him or her to mentor you) and you will like for him or her to afford you the privilege to walk in his or her precepts which you’ve chosen to follow, so as to make the most of destiny. Let him or her know how you hold him or her in high regard for his or her success and achievements which has endeared you to him or her. (No flatteries please). This is why you should have followed the track record of this personality well so as to be sure of what you are saying. End your letter by pledging your unflinching commitment, dedication and loyalty to this relationship if given the privilege.
This pledge is important because mentors will want to know those (protégés) who are serious with what they are asking for. In my little over a decade of being a mentor to individuals and organisations, I have seen them (protégés) come in different ‘shades’, ‘shapes’, ‘sizes’ and what have you, in character. My experience is that while a number of protégés are certain about their desire to be mentored, armed with the right motives (which is to glean from the experience of those or someone who has made a mark in their chosen field, so as to be rightly guided) and are serious and committed to same if given the privilege, there are a bunch of (alarmingly) many others who seek mentorship relationship for ALL other motives but the right ones. I call them parasites in proteges' togas. They are never serious, committed or dedicated to what they professed or profess, all because their motives were flawed from the onset. If your motive for requesting for Mentorship relationship is wrong, it will soon be revealed by time. For example, some wrong motives that some of our youngsters these days have for seeking to be mentored are so sadly warped to say the least. Some seek mentorship with a particular mentor so as to earn the kind of attractive income the prospective mentor earns, drive the kind of luxurious car(s) he or she drives, live in the kind of posh apartment the prospective mentor resides in, use the prospective mentor's clout to secure professional connections etc. All these are wrong motives which will soon expose how a phony you are. Mentorship is a serious relationship for those going somewhere in destiny and need a 'tour guide' (mentor) who can help them navigate through a road map which they have travelled in that can get the protege to his or her Eldorado.
Having fulfilled all these requirements meant to put you in good stead with your would-be mentor, and he or she having perused your letter, is convinced about the genuineness of your request, I am hopeful he or she will take you on.
One of the sources from which every flourishing relationship draws it strength is effective communication. In the absence of communication, a relationship breaks down. Communication however goes beyond words, your disposition, availability, loyalty all communicate something in your relating with your million dollar mentor as a protégé. Let’s discuss three steps to relating with your million dollar mentor.
Three Steps To Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.
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| Believe in your mentor. |
In modern day sales and marketing of products (goods and services) customers buy into the brand of a product, or the brand of the personality behind the product or that produced the product before they buy the product. In the same way, you as the protégé has to ‘buy into’ the personality of your mentor by believing in him or her, what he or she stands for, his or her ideals, ideologies, philosophies etc. before what he or she can deliver or has delivered in terms of achievements depending on the profession he or she is given to.
Your belief in your mentor draws on the potency of a mystery that imparts you with the 'ability' to bring about the same order of results, possibly better that he or she has in his or her career, profession, field, calling, assignment, ministry, family, etc. that endeared you to him or her in the first place. What you believe is what you will receive, what you don’t believe, never expect to receive. What you believe, you don’t only receive, but you become! Your belief in your mentor is a force that draws on the strength, wits, wisdom, grace, that he or she bears, to make happen for you the same order of result he or she has in your desired area or areas of life in which he or she is mentoring you. Until you believe in your mentor(s) neither will his or her precept deliver to you your desired order of results, achievements, success. May I ask you? Do you think there’s any benefit in following the one you don’t believe in?
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| Honour your mentor. |
In the wise words of one of my highly revered teachers, he said and I quote: “What you respect you attract”. In other words, what you don’t respect, you repel. There is a measure of respect, reverence and honour that is required in relating with anyone one is involved with in any kind of relationship, how much more your mentor? The mentor you don’t respect, his or her grace, never expect to attract, let alone commanding his or her order of achievements. Why? At the root of the achievements of your mentor is a grace that makes happen for him or her the result(s) you see in his or her life, career, business etc. endearing you to him or her. If you as a protégé must partake of the grace your mentor bears to deliver the same order of result he or she commands, you’ve got to honour (respect, revere, regard and appreciate) your mentor. Honour him or her not just because he or she is older than you (if he or she is) but because he or she bears a grace you NEED to partake of and command the order of results he or she commands. What you are honouring is NOT his or her age, but his or her GRACE (which is divine). Your mentor may be your age mate, but he or she is NOT your 'classmate' ; so honour him or her for his or her grace!
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| Serve your mentor. |
As a polymath with skills set in three major vocations -Theatre Practice (acting,script writing, directing), Professional Speaking (inspirational/motivational speaking, training, compeering), Creative Writing (column writing, blogging), I am fortunate to be mentored by some of the finest gentlemen and seasoned professionals that I have ever met in these vocations. I have been positively impacted and still being impacted in no little way by these highly revered mentors of mine. The admirable order and depth of growing achievements I am fortunate to have today in the work I do can’t be divorced from the excellent mentorship impartations I am receiving from my mentors.
In about 15 years of theatre practice I have scripted, directed and produced over 450 stage works, most of which I played lead roles. I have written 2 film scripts. In my professional speaking work I have spoken ( inspirational speaking, compeering, training) at hundreds of conferences, seminars, symposia, workshops, events. One of those events had about 350,000 people in (live) attendance. I have facilitated the first ever compere academy in Africa (World Class Compere Academy) with headquarters in Lagos, established four campus branches across Nigeria and graduated over 300 graduands. In my creative writing work, I have written hundreds of articles in a number of magazines, blogs and still do. The quality of my impact and services have been associated with the quality of impact and services of my mentors. Some members of my audience often meet me after speaking or compeering or training or acting on stage to inquire : …“do you have any affiliation with so so and so? (my mentors) I often smile and reply : “Yes, he’s my mentor”…My dear friend, the one who mentors you largely determines the order of results you deliver. Why? A mentor is the prophetic picture of a protégé's preferred future.
However, it is pertinent to state clearly that among other things that I didn’t come into this order of result through my mentors' mentoring without one secret- service (to my mentors). Beyond believing in your mentor, honouring your mentor, serving your mentor or service to your mentor is one of the most potent secrets of tapping into the same grace your mentor bears to deliver for you the same order of results. The mentor you don’t serve, his or her grace you DON’T deserve! My dear friend, this may not sound like a popular school of thought in secular circles of mentorship, it may sound barbaric or archaic, but I present to you a principle that I have practiced for a total of 14years of being mentored and has brought me endless rewards and still does.
I hold strongly that until one is a certified doer of a principle, he or she is not a qualified teacher of the same. As a protégé to those who have gone ahead of me as my mentors and a mentor to others looking up to me in the last 11 years, I modestly say I am a certified doer, hence a qualified teacher of this principle of service to your mentor. Serving your mentor (through your time, energy, resources) in all areas that you see an opportunity to serve (not until you are asked to, willingly and cheerfully) is a potent way of relating with your mentor to access the grace he or she bears so that grace can enable you deliver the same order (quality) of results. Any time I have the opportunity to be with my mentors- at home, work- office, co-speaking or compeering, performing together on stage, on a speaking or performing trip, I am always on the look out for an opportunity to serve them- from the menial chores to the professional chores (drive, clean the car, sort traveling luggage, pay internet subscription (not with my money but with the one they give me to pay), pay telephone bills, purchase flight tickets, prepare presentation slides, go act or speak or compeer on their behalves etc. and that is still till date! Behind the quality of achievements that your mentor delivers (among other things) is a grace (divine enablement) that makes them happen. If you want that quality of achievement, you need the grace your mentor bears and if you must access the grace your mentor bears, (in addditon to believing in him or her, honouring him or her) you will need to serve him or her (willingly and cheerfully). Why do you think I also have today young folks who I mentor and others who seek my mentorship and even request just to serve me? There is no gimmick about it- "what you sow you will reap..." Look friend, service is the pathway to honour!
Types of Service-
There are two kinds of service that I know and has worked for me in the past years that I will recommend for you.
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| Material Service. |
This is service to or serving your mentor through your means. There is a measure of material gift you need to sow (invest) into the life of your mentor to tap into the grace he or she bears. Please note, not because your mentor has a need or needs whatever material gift (resources) you sow (invest) into his or her life, NO! On the contrary, you as the protégé are the one that needs the grace your mentor bears to launch forth into your next phase in life and destiny, hence your need to sow (invest) the gift into his or her life as you deem fit.
Please this is a mystery, there is NO known textbook or academic explanation for this. However, strangely, it works! I speak experientially as an ardent praticitoner and a fulfilled beneficiary of this mystery till date! I needed a launch into my next phase of life and destiny badly about a decade ago. All I had at that material time was one meagre sum. I had identified 7 different areas of one of my mentor’s life (personally and professionally) in which I admired the kind of successes he was recording and I needed badly. This meagre sum was what I gave at that time in FAITH and before too long, I began to deliver the same order of results with GREAT EASE and LESS SWEAT. Today, my life, personally and professionally has since totally turned around for the better. Did I say my life is still turning for the better, because this principle has become a lifestyle for me in "relating with my million dollar mentors." Please note, it is not in the volume (of what you give), but in the value you place on it and the faith you have in this ‘mystery’. It has worked for me and still working for me till date, and many others (protégés), that I’ve taught and still teaching. I trust you can enjoy same.
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| Manual Service. |
Service to your mentor is not only by your means, but also by your might- manual service (through your time, energy, availability, to run errands etc.) It is doing the 'basest' but rewarding chores for your mentor-the ‘dirty’ jobs so to speak. Till date, I still run errands for mentors delightfully, because you should never be too old, successful, highly placed to serve your mentor. My experience has been that; the grace you draw from your mentor through manual service is GREATER than that which you draw through your material service. Remember, this grace is a divine enablement, which is at the root of ANY human exploit. It can't be taught, but only imparted! It is not as though, through your mentor’s teachings, guidance, coaching, training, etc. you will not acquire the skills, knowledge and wisdom, to make you acquire the kind of results that endeared you to him or her, but it is this grace that ACTIVATES ( brings to life, makes real or substantial, tangible) all you’ve learnt from your mentor, to translate into sweatless, stressless and strainless success for you. It is NOT all that are succeeding that are 'sweating', the pathway to that stressless success is MENTORSHIP! Remember? ; “If you know WHERE you are going, your journey is short. If you know HOW to get there, your journey is shorter. If you know WHO has got there, your journey is shortest. If you are WILLING to SUBMIT to WHO has got there by APPRENTICESHIP, and he or she is WILLING to take you on through MENTORSHIP, you are there!” This is my story today my dear friend, it can be yours too. It is my wish for you that your own story too will soon be told! This generation and the one coming will celebrate your monumental feats too!
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