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Friday, June 10, 2011

...In The Spirit Of Your Mentor.

-The Last Rookie-

Just leaving the stage one day; many years back, after delivering a very captivating one-man theatrical presentation, I was met backstage while in the artiste changing room by one of the artiste attendants and asked: "Sir, do you know ...? (Mentions name) "Yes I do..." (Smiling) I responded as I straightened out my tie, knowing where the inquiry was headed as I get such inquiries often, shortly after I'm done acting on stage or speaking or Compeering (an event) before an audience. I added..."he is my mentor" "Ehn...ehn!" (He exclaimed) "I said it! I saw that on the stage. You act like him." (He said). "Thank you" I said in response. I have come to accept such remarks as compliments. While it may be a compliment in a way, I will tell you what I reckon it actually means. It means there is an almost in-differentiable similarity in the way my mentor and I act on stage. Now, please let us not trivialise this peculiar and vital eye-opening truth I am about unveiling here by putting this down to mean one party must have been copying another. That will be grossly missing the point and may be missing out totally on the core of the issue I am dealing with in this edition.

At the said time, I had been under the tutelage of that mentor of mine for about two years. I had rapidly learnt a lot from him in my acting craft, turned my once raw and crude talent into admirable skill and steadily getting better. Yet, without any formal University degree in theatre practice at the time, though I was a already a University graduate in another field. Modestly speaking, I had surpassed some of my colleagues equally under my mentor's tutelage at the time who had been with him longer than I had. I wouldn't say I was more brilliant, or intelligent than them as it were, but I had latched unto an 'unpopular' secret on the pathway to rapid and excellent grooming in mentorship that some of them were yet to come to terms with. At the time, if there was to be any form of ranking among my my mentor's proteges based on the time of commencement of our mentorship programmes with him individually, I would have ranked the least among all of us then. Hence I would have been the most junior of us all, and I was. This reflected in the (administrative) assignments and responsibilities apportioned to each member of the team. However, sometimes (and gradually it became most times) my mentor began issuing certain official responsibilities to me which was way beyond my 'rank', while my 'seniors' were there. At times, that my mentor could not honour some invitations to go act, speak or Compeer some events, he will bypass my 'seniors' and send me to go on his behalf! (Though theatre was the core of our business in our organisation at the time, we also offered speaking and Compere services on the side). It was surprising yet elating for me to be singled out before and among my 'superiors'. Casting my mind down memory lane, at any of those opportunities to go professionally represent my mentor, I met his expectations and sometimes surpassed them. Glowing feedbacks from our clients sent to my mentor spoke volume of this. My mentor had recognised in me what I later realised which is what I intend sharing with you my dear friend in this edition.          

We were all equally talented, brilliant, creative, resourceful, diligent, dogged and more...but I had discovered and was applying something that some of my colleagues were yet to discover. What is this 'unpopular' but potent secret my dear friend? I had discovered that at the core of excellence in being groomed as a protege (who soon will become another authority personally and professionally to be modelled after) in mentorship programme is the 'catching' and operating "IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR MENTOR."


-The Mystery Of The Spirit-

Ordinarily in mentorship, what we have learnt is that this is a (destiny) relationship which exists between a more experienced fellow (mentor) in a particular area of life and a less experienced fellow (protege) in the same area who needs the guidance of the more experienced fellow. In this relationship, the younger in experience latches on the experience, maturity, influence, clout etc. of his or her mentor to navigate in needed area of life. Through this regular interaction, the younger in experience acquires skills, experience and gradually becomes better in the said area of life. This is the picture of what mentorship is in a nutshell as we have learnt. I concur that this remains true. However, one unknown or unpopular aspect that has remained unknown to many proteges and even some mentors is the spirit dimension in mentorship. Mentorship is MORE THAN just the instructing, guiding, showing, grooming, bequeathing of skills or sharing experiences with a younger (in experience) fellow. While it is that no doubt, BUT it is the spirit dimension that is the MOST potent aspect of this relationship and that which makes all the instructing, guiding, showing, grooming, bequeathing of skills or sharing of experience to deliver potently and doubtlessly! Short of the spirit, mentorship relationship becomes no different from any other social affair. It is understanding the spirit dimension of mentorship and rightly appropriating it that helps any protege to make the most of mentorship and become an authority that will influence others and also be modelled after by many.

Many proteges and even mentors are delivering in their pursuit far below capacity today because a number of them (like some of my colleagues back then under my mentor's tutelage) are yet to understand and latch unto this mystery of the spirit. I call it a mystery because it is STILL hidden to many, unknown to others, not understood by some, or outrightly rejected by other 'very knowledgeable' folks who find this kind of school of thought weird. But I have learnt that: "the greatest hindrance to knowledge is NOT ignorance, but illusion of knowledge." Thinking we know when we don't at all or know as we should. It is my optimistic hope that I will be able to through this edition mid-wife your understanding in this school of thought and wean you from the company of proteges who have the potential to be more but are yet to be (because they are yet to latch unto to the spirit dimension) to the company of those who are becoming (from phase to phase) ALL they can be personally and professionally in their destiny pursuits. Please may I say, because it is STILL hidden to many, unknown to others, not understood by some, or outrightly rejected by other 'very knowledgeable' folks who find this kind of school of thought weird DOES NOT mean it is not POTENT! I the author of this article is an experiential witness and a grateful beneficiary. Welcome therefore, my dear friend to the spirit dimension in mentorship; the POTENT dimension.


-What Is The Spirit?

There are two worlds that exist that I will like to focus on here with which I will share on what the spirit is. There is the seen or physical world and there is the unseen or spirit world. As real as the seen or physical world is to us, and it is real I reckon, but the unseen or spirit world is more real or tangible than the seen or physical world. In the creation of the universe, the unseen or spirit world existed first before the seen or physical world. The unseen or spirit world gave birth to the seen or physical world. Hence, nothing exists or happens in the seen or physical world that does not first exist or happen in the unseen or spirit world. Victory or defeat, triumph or trial, success or failure, progress or stagnation, increase or decrease, riches or poverty, abundance or lack, blessing or curse and more all existed first in the unseen or spirit world. Even you and I, as desires to be had by our parents as children first existed in the unseen or spirit world before the seen or physical world.

The Spirit is an unseen but real, tangible and potent source and force pregnant with all realities that may be desirable by mankind. Resident in the spirit are all the desires that man may choose to acquire; financial, material, career, business, marital etc. For any desire of man to be rightly located, the spirit is the source to be contacted. All you and I may ever desire in life are situated in the spirit. Until you and I are able to access the spirit, our desires in life remain a mirage. The frustration of mankind in having all he desires, mostly is in his inability to access the spirit to 'shop' for them.

In addition, the spirit is not just the source of all of mankind's desires, but also the force that births those desires from the unseen or spirit realm where they are situated to the seen or physical world where they are needed.  So accessing the spirit is not just all we have as responsibility to have our desires, but also ACTIVATING that force.
If making the most of mentorship through accessing the treasures that your mentor bears is your desire, then catching and operating IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR MENTOR is a must!


-Attributes Of The Spirit-

1. The spirit is a potent force that can't be seen with the naked eyes but who's effect can't be denied when accessed and activated.

2. When accessed and activated its irrepressible force can't be stopped from bringing to pass the desire that has been placed on it to deliver from the unseen or spirit  to the seen or physical world.

3. Its force is capable of delivering desires beyond human knowledge, intellect, wisdom or skill.

4. When all human efforts fail in the pursuit of a desire ordinarily achievable by human effort, the spirit is that never failing, ever reliable and dependable ally to consult.


-Age Of The Spirited-

Talent is one treasure that divinity bequeathed to humanity so as to become productive and enviable citizens of the earth. Over the millenniums of the existence of the human race this has been seen. From time immemorial till date, being talented in one area or the other and trading with that or those talent(s) makes one not just profitably rewarded but enviably esteemed. Talent or being talented is a potent treasure that stands one out in life. That is still a truism (to an extent) today. I submit as one who is fortunate to be endowed with talents in a number of areas by Providence. However, in the passage of time in our ever dynamic world things are changing. While talent is still relevant in our dispensation and the talented is still celebrated, sadly, talent has become a dime a dozen in our times. As 'potent' as talent or being talented may be I have seen many in our times that are talented yet are frustrated! Many are gifted yet have become grounded. While being talented or gifted is still relevant, it has lost the supremacy of it's potency to another. We are no longer in the age of the supremacy of the talented or the gifted, we are in the age of the spirited. To be talented or gifted is no longer enough, you must graduate to being spirited! To be talented (alone) is to be frustrated. To be gifted alone is to be grounded! Until you become spirited, you remain limited. To be talented (alone) is to be limited. To become unlimited you must become spirited! We are in the age of the spirited, where it is the spirited that dictates the pace in the world of personal and professional excellence, influence and significance. In all fields today, it is the spirited that are taking over and dictating the pace for the (just) talented.

Who are these rare breeds of the spirited? They are those who (may also be talented) but have realised that dominance in personal and professional life (in this dispensation)  will require more than just being talented but being spirited and have caught unto the new age move of being spirited. They are a crop of pathfinders, trailblazers, pacesetters and trendsetters who are dominating in personal and professional life (from all walks of life) not by their talents, intellect, skills or experience as it were, but through the force of the spirit! Being spirited has made them unstoppable breeds; dominating over all affairs of their life personally and professionally, not by human ability but by divine ability made available to them by their access to the unseen or spirit world and engaging it's force in their affairs. They are a breed of people who by their access to the spirit world now have access to solutions to personal and professsinal challenges such as "eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, neither has it entered into the hearts of men!" Men with solution unusual. These are crop of fellows who have realised that the current realities of human personal and professional challenges have defied human talents, intellect, skills, wisdom or experience but require a higher force and help to stand out and dominate in the midst of mortals. How true? The current challenges and realities that we grapple with in our times at work, business, career, home etc. are beyond academic qualification, academic intellect, skills etc. hence the need to enlist the help of a higher and more formidable ally if we must remain relevant in personal and professional scheme of things. If you desire to leave the company of the just talented that are frustrated, if you desire to move from being limited in personal and professional life to becoming unlimited, if you desire to access solutions unusual that eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, nor has entered into the hearts of men, if you desire to join the company of pathfinders, trailblazers, pacesetters and trendsetters (who have become high flyers) dominating in personal and professional life and to make a mark in this dispensation too difficult to erase, becoming spirited for you is a must! It is the age of the spirited! If you must make the most of mentorship therefore, surpassing your predecessors and setting the pace for them as my case was with my 'seniors' under my mentor's tutelage years back, we can't over flog this can we? Being spirited is it!


-Catching The Spirit Of Your Mentor-

* Why Do You Need The Spirit Of Your Mentor?

Man is a tripartite being who is essentially a spirit, he has a soul and lives in a house called body. The real man is NOT the soul or body but the spirit. How do I mean? Have you ever noticed that when someone dies and his corpse is referred to during burial the deceased is not addressed by his or her name? But the expression, the 'body'. For example as it is in an obituary publication; "body leaves his family house for the church at 8am." Note, it will never be referred as (assuming the deceased's name was John), "the body of John leaves his family house for church", but "body leaves..." What does this connote? When a human being dies, the body becomes lifeless, because what gives it life has left. That thing that gives the body life is the spirit. This connotes that the real John is not that body but the spirit. The real you and I is our spirit. What gives your mentor the life you admire which produces all the results that you desire in him or her which endeared you to him or her is his or her spirit. As earlier discussed that the spirit is the source of all the desires that man may choose to acquire; financial, material, career, business, marital etc., what you desire from your mentor in terms of experience, wisdom, skill etc. will require that you 'go after' his or her spirit which is the source of all that you desire. Please remember that these deires of yours will not just be available to you as you catch your mentor's spirit, but it will take same spirit to activate these treasures tapped from your mentor for them to be in operation in your life and deliver for you the order of results (personally and professionally) for which you've been endeared to your mentor.

* Exploring The Process-

Please note in the first instance, that catching the spirit of your mentor is your sole responsibility as a protege. You are the one who needs it and so must go after it. What does the process of catching this spirit require?

Among other things, mentorship is God's wisdom of advancing HIS agenda from one generation to another by the transference of HIS grace from one vessel to another. This is why the place of the spirit in actualising this can't be taken for granted. In one of the previous editions on this blog, I discussed on the six steps to follow in locating your mentor. The fifth and sixth talked about "spiritual compatibility with your (would-be mentor)" and "divine guidance." This brings back to the fore the truth that mentorship relationship is essentially a spiritual relationship. In addition to other steps such as "he or she must be a person of result (i.e. Successful) "he or she must share your field", "the result or his or her success must be progressive (must be a succeeding success)", he or she must be a person of integrity", there is need for you and this mentor of yours to be spiritually compatible, because if he or she is of a negative spirit his or her spirit will 'corrupt' you as you are the one receiving from him or her and hence render impotent all you might have acquired fron him or her through the mentorship process. The positive spirit is the spirit of the Almighty God. So when I talk about spiritual compatibilty I mean if you are already compatible with God spiritually (among other things; you have given God the full leadership of your life) you must ensure that whoever you choose as a mentor must also be spiritually compatible with God. Why? If the spirit is the source of all you need to access from your mentor, that source I talk about is first the SPIRIT of God. It will take your mentor's spirit being in compatibilty with that of God before you will be able to tap into it from your mentor's spirit as you 'go after' it. The original source therefore is the Spirit of God. You may therefore query, why don't I therefore tap all my desires directly from God's spirit? It has been God's self-styled approach to sometimes use or need a medium to deliver to us the treasures that make for our earthly relevance. Mentorship is one of those areas this approach of HIS is HIS major medium of grace transference.

1. Receive Your Mentor-

No one learns from the one he envies or despises. You can only learn from the one you admire or accept. One wise saying goes: "What you respect you attract. What you don't respect you repel." The mentor you don't respect never expect to receive from. Please permit me to draw your attention to the fact that your mentor is not a perfect person.  NO mentor is, because he or she is but human like you and I. This is what I call the irony of mentorship; using an imperfect person to groom another into a 'perfect' (better) person. History and the experience of some like me proves that it works. Receiving your mentor means receiving him or her with his or her strengths and weaknesses or shortcomings. One error a number of proteges make is that they often see their mentors as perfect personalities or flawless people. This is understandable because, a number of times the results (successes), track record, image, influence or clout of the mentor can be so larger than life or overwhelming before a protege that may just be starting out in the path of destiny or have started out but has far less experience or result. However, this is not true. With all profound respect to our mentors, as admirable and impressive their success, track record or influence may be, they have flaws. Sometimes it will take a while of consistent and close interaction in your relationship with your mentor to ever see any of his or her flaws. But it is not for you to focus on or else you may be distracted from your main aim of following your mentor. I was fortunate to learn this early in my mentorship relationship with my mentors. In addition, this instilled in me a loyalty that will never let me condone anyone speak ill of my mentors before me. Note that if you despise the messenger (your mentor) you will miss the message (what he or she possesses that can benefit you in destiny). If you despise your mentor therefore for any of his or her shortcomings you are bound to miss out on catching his spirit let alone operating in it. You must therefore receive your mentor as you found him or her to be (given the fact that he or she meets the six qualities a preferred mentor should have as earlier mentioned though) or else you won't be able to receive what he or she possesses (spiritually).

2. Believe In What Your Mentor Possesses-

Beyond receiving your mentor you should believe in what he or she possesses (that is his or her spirit that you intend to catch or tap into). It is only what you believe that you receive. What you don't believe you don't receive. To receive your mentor and not believe in what he or she possesses is to resist what he or she possesses. Your faith in what your mentor possesses (to be able to deliver for you the same order of results-successes that he or she possesses) is what commands for you that same order of divine ability o deliver same.

3. Receive Your Mentor's Spirit-     

The receiving of your mentor and believing in what your mentor possesses prepare you for receiving your mentor's spirit. Receiving your mentor's spirit, in addition to the aforementioned, your thirst for your mentor's spirit marks your qualification for receiving same. What you don't thirst for never expect to receive. It amuses and amazes me when I see some proteges thirst for or covet the material possessions that their mentor possess rather than thirsting after or coveting the source of these possessions or the force that produces it. It is no news that increasingly in our current times, there are many parasites in the cloak of proteges. They carefully seek for and follow mentors for what material benefits they can get from or through them. From my years of experience (not because I have been a victim of this faux pas, but because I have seen scores of proteges shot themselves in the foot with this myopic motive as their goal.) Some current co-proteges of mine under the tutelage of one of my mentors are guilty of this error and some others that I mentor (my proteges).

Two years ago while taking a postgraduate refresher course in one of Nigeria's prestigious tertiary institutions, it was humbling for me that many of my colleagues (during the course of our interaction) in that course recognised the modest and admirable budding success that I had made of my career and business at the time. Due to this, a number of them requested that I mentor them. Whilst we were finalising modalities for this, I found out one of them had the intention of me mentoring him for the wrong reasons. Paraphrasing his words : "Once he learns a few things from me and GETS SOME CONNECTIONS FROM/THROUGH ME HE WILL BE DONE WITH MENTORING UNDER ME." Learning this I rejected his offer to mentor him, because this is a typical parasite and NOT a protege. He wanted to be mentored for the wrong reason. Please do not get me wrong, was I miserly; not wanting to give of what I have? Absolutely not! But the real thing he should have desired (catching the spirit-the source and the force that produces the power for all he wanted) he had neglected. Please my dear friend and co-protege, to covet your mentor's kind of porsche car, tastefully furnished home, fat salary or income, lofty speaking platforms, circle of influence is to miss the whole essence of this destiny relationship, end up losing out and regretting! Your motive of being mentored must be right; it is to go beyond just learning from your mentor's experience, knowledge, wisdom or skill, but go for the spirit! This has been my unflinching goal and a daily one in my relationship with all my mentors. With all modesty I can talk of numerous instances of the positive dividends of this destiny wisdom. My genuine proteges are gleaning same from me and are also the better for it. If you desire same, it is time you got on the thirst line. Your thirst should be expressed in form of :

1. A passionate desire for your mentor's spirit
2. This passionate desire must be voiced in heartfelt prayers

NB- Please kindly note that preceding the steps mentioned in this edition required to catch the spirit of your mentor, by virtue of your relationship with your mentor before now, it is important to be reminded for readers who have been following the other series on this blog and to inform those who may have this edition as the first and perhaps the only series they have read, that you must have also been in the attitude of believing, honouring and serving your mentor. (This is discussed in an edutaining detail in a previous edition titled : "Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.") I urge new readers or visitors to this blog to kindly check up this edition.


-Operating In The Spirit Of Your Mentor-

Certain things I began experiencing years back in my personal and professional life indicated that I had caught and was operating in the spirit of my only mentor at the time. For instance, I started having intuitive strategic ideas on theatre productions just as my mentor do have. I noticed sometimes when he is not around if I was assigned to decide on the concept of a production, it will turn out that that was THE SAME way he would allude to that he had in mind whenever he comes around and receives feedback. At other times, if I go to represent him at an acting, speaking or Compeering engagement, in addition to other very encouraging commendations I receive, I hear things like: "you act...speak...or Compere just like he would have done if he was the one that came." With all sense of modesty, my mentor is phenomenal at his craft. So to be regarded as acting, speaking or Compeering like him is a compliment. At other times (while this mentor of mine and I DO NOT look alike physically) some mistake me for him physically. You know why some claim we look alike physically? While we do not look alike physically, we had become look alike SPIRITUALLY! I can go on and on with other instances. Now, I understand that this is not a common or popular school of thought, but like I said earlier, "that it is not popular does not mean it is not POTENT!"  It is my hope that you will not despise this school of thought, rather you will embrace it like I did years ago and I have been the better for it till date.

Please note that catching the spirit is not enough, operating in it is what delivers the 'goods.' I did not stumble on those correlation of my strategic decisions and results that were in line with how my mentor would have done same by accident. Having been carrying out all the steps required to catch my mentor's spirit (as discussed earlier), anytime I needed to execute any professional task in line with the area of my career for which I was being mentored at the time,(acting, speaking, Compere) I always activate the spirit I am conscious I had caught (my mentor's) in prayers for wisdom and understanding for execution. I tell you the truth, it has always produced! It still does, because I have made what makes it work a lifestyle. After catching the spirit of your mentor therefore, you must begin to operate in it to access the treasures it delivers.

Behind every physical manifestation is a spiritual operation. Every visible operation is a product of an invisible operation. At the core of excellence in being groomed as a protege (who soon will become another authority personally and professionally to be modeled after) in mentorship programme is THE SPIRIT! What spirit? The spirit of your mentor.
Today, I enjoy some measure of fulfillment that may be referred to by others as success (through mentorship) due to my operating IN THE SPIRIT OF MY MENTORS!
Your greatest desire in mentorship relationship should be the catching and operating IN THE SPIRIT OF YOUR MENTOR.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

...In The Patterns Of Your Mentor.

 As a young protege to one of my mentors years ago, with all sense of modesty, I learnt early the virtue of teachability. I was always smart enough to recognise and accept what I didn't know and sought after knowing same or anybody, anywhere, anytime from whom I can learn same. Delightfully, I still do; need I say:"it is now my second nature?" As a matter of fact, this attitude set me in the path of mentorship early in life as the pathway to making the most of destiny. One fundamental wisdom I learnt as an easy way to grow fast under one's mentor from my mentor is the wisdom of "following of patterns"...in a colloquial palance- "do as I do." It sounds so simple but very easy to carry out and doubtlessly effective. I have grown from a young (in wisdom and age), naive, inexperienced, unexposed, unenlightened mentee to who I am today, and I reckon that I am still growing with a lot to keep learning. Personally and professionally (I submit modestly that) I execute many tasks effortlessly today owing to following of patterns that I glean regularly from my very generous mentors. My destiny journey curve is being cut short by the day as I addictively follow "In The Patterns Of My Mentors". Over time I have had the pleasure of having young professionals too look up to and 'submit' to me to be mentored. Not because they 'like my face', but they admire the results (growing achievements) they see around me. Ironically, I have been able to achieve these admired results (among many other things) by following in the patterns of my mentors.


The future one gets to begins with a picture one follows. Every wonderful future begins with colourful picture. The future begins with a picture. What you 'picture' the longest is what becomes the strongest in your life. These pictures are patterns that serve as guides for a fruitful future if followed.


What Are Patterns?

Patterns are regularly repeated order of doing (executing) things, happenings, or the way things develop in personal and professional tasks. Patterns gleaned from one's mentor are prophetic pictures meant to create perfect future (if followed). When these 'pictures' are followed, they form principles by which results can be achieved in that area of professional endeavour effortlessly. Patterns are the 'prophetic' principles of the mentor which when patterned after make the protege (mentee) a 'principal'. Doing things the way your mentor does them delivers for you the order of results your mentor is achieving. In other words if you want to 'see' what your mentor is seeing in terms of results, achievements, success etc. execute your personal and professional tasks applying the strategy or pattern by which your mentor achieved this result. One of my mentor is fond of saying: "I am not successful because I am your mentor, I am successful because I am doing what makes for success! If you do what I do, you will see what I see!" Following your mentor's tested and result-proven patterns gives you access to success without sweat. I speak experientially.


What Is Following Of Patterns?

Through assiduous commitment to his or her 'raison d'être' (reason for being or purpose), your mentor has discovered some execution strategies, principles, ways, procedures or patterns in your professional area of endeavour (by which he has achieved success again and again) for which you are mentoring under him or her for. These execution strategies, principles, ways, procedures, or patterns have been proven by your mentor to be true again and again. They have produced the results you find around your mentor today for which you were endeared to him or her in the first place and decided that he or she should mentor you. These executions are 'wheels' which have been invented which need not be re-invented again if one desires similar results. You perhaps have heard the aphorism: "Do not re-invent the wheel." If you desire the order of results your mentor delivers without sweat and even more; do not re-invent the wheel, follow in the patterns of your mentor.

1. Patterning after 'prophetic' pictures painted by the 'prophet' (your mentor) to determine your future.

2. Following of your mentor's examples as instructions so as to become an admirable 'sample.'

3. Learning by the observation of your mentor's principles, procedures and processes of execution so as to achieve same desired results (success) as your mentor.


How Do You Follow Patterns?

1. Following A Mentor With Patterns-
Following of patterns begins with following a mentor who has patterns to be followed. A mentor who has patterns that can be followed has results of success to show for same. So follow a succeeding mentor- he or she will have patterns for you to follow to become a succeeding mentee too. All my mentors are individuals of endless patterns. Aren't I blessed?

2. Following Through Instructions-
A mentor is essentially a type of a teacher who schools you into exploits and releases you into  destiny. Instruction is one of the major tools by which  your mentor will groom you into the enviable individual you desire to become. Instructions are the gateways to destiny. One of my mentors often says: "his greatest success secret is following of instructions." Following of instructions is the key to distinction. The many sessions you will have or do have with your mentor where by he or she attends to your destiny questions or inquiries affords him or her to groom you with instructions on what to do, how to do it or them to achieve results. Words of wisdom make up instructions, when followed you end up a fulfilled individual. I have lost count on how many things my mentors have instructed me on that has brought me mind blowing results. However it takes meekness to learn from 'the made'. You the mentee are the one who desires to be 'made' and your mentor is 'the made'. So if you must follow your mentor through instructions, acquire meekness.

3. Following Through Observation-
Observatory learning as I otherwise call it, is paying a close attention to what you see your mentor do, beyond just saying, in the execution of professional tasks. Learning by observation is the most magnetic form of learning. There are a thousand and one things your mentor may not have time to teach you (not because he or she does not want to) and you may not even know enough to ask. That is why your eyes should be wide open to learn and keep learning around your mentor as you watch him or her execute professional tasks before you.

Following through observation is one of my favourite  patterns of learning from my mentors. Why? What you hear, your brain may not retain, but what you see you hardly forget. Learning by observation gives you access to details that are sometimes inexplicable. The most effective of the patterns in my theatre and speaking (inspirational, training, compeering etc.) careers, I have gleaned through observing my mentors' execution styles. The specialist in any field has one secret; he or she has a knack for details and to be careful for details, you must be observant. A man of detail is a man in demand and a man in demand is a man set for distinction. Follow your mentor through observation.


Caution About Following Of Patterns-

The following of your mentor's patterns is NOT to make you a carbon copy of your mentor, but a better copy. The irony of mentorship is that a 'better copy' is created through an 'imperfect person' or 'copy.' While you are the 'better copy' ultimately, your mentor is the 'imperfect copy.' Please know that in the pursuit of perfection we mentees follow in the foot steps of our 'imperfect mentors'. If ultimately you don't get better results than your mentor, you have failed! These are proven mysteries friend.


Benefits Of Following Of Patterns-

Whatever does not make you better in life will make you bitter in life! It is the benefits you enjoy in life that makes you better n life.

1. Speedy Accomplishment- 
From ancient scripts; while the spying of the land of canaan took 12 spies in 40 days, commissioned by Moses (Joshua's mentor) in the presence of the elders of Israel and the entire people of Israel, the spying of Jericho took 2 spies about 5 days, commissioned by Joshua (Moses' mentee) in the secret before only him. The lesson to learn here is that from carefully observing your mentor's patterns some of which may be erroneous (Yes! As he or she is not perfect), as a wise mentee, observe same but rather than make a matter of them, learn from them and improve on these patterns. By so doing you are bound to have speedier accomplishments.

2. Better Approach For Better Results-
An ever-desirous-to-grow mentee will always seek a better way of doing things. As you observe areas of improvement in your mentors patterns you discover better approaches for better results. However, this will not 'jump on' you over night,you must have developed your skills under your mentor's tutelage to an extent, garnered some hands-on experiences, always seeking to learn and grow.

3. Sweatless Success-
What you want to do effortlessly you must first start diligently. The more you follow your mentor's patterns and constantly seek to improve on the patterns, results and more, you will find out that you will become capable of doing more with less effort yet, achieving greater success!

4. Operating At A Higher Level-
The end of a mentor's exploit marks the beginning of his or her mentee's exploit. The 'full stop' of a mentor marks the full start of a mentee. Following of patterns will empower you a mentee to begin your season of exploits at the height of the season of your mentor's exploits. In other words, you naturally operate at a higher level following your mentor's patterns. All my talents in different areas of my professional interests were very crude and unrefined at the commencement of my mentorship with my mentors, but after journeying a distance over the years with my mentors there's no doubt I have left the level of delivery I was. Now I have the pleasure of overseeing 158 mentees in 3 continents. You sure may agree with me that it is not the one that does not have any patterns that can be followed that will command the followership of 158 mentees.


Be reminded (as I said in "You Need A Mentor"- a previous article) that your mentor is the prophetic picture of your perfect future. Following of patterns is attempting to succeed like your mentor by following his success principles and patterns. If you must get what others have gotten, you have got to do what they have done. Your insult can turn to result, bring you a reward and win you an award by following in the steps of an 'award winner.' Those who follow in the foot steps of great men, take great steps to great heights. Those who refuse examples end up in shambles! You can become a 'sample' instead of ending up in shambles by following examples. Examples are pre-ambles for not ending up in shambles but as a sample. It is doing what others have done that empowers you to become what they have become! Until you follow the patterns of the prophetic picture i.e. your mentor, for your perfect future, you will make little or no significant profit form your purpose. Doing it the way your mentor did it helps you get it the way your mentor got it. You will get nothing following nothing! I urge you, follow "In The Patterns Of Your Mentor."

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

In The Pursuit Of Your Mentor.

In The Pursuit Of Your Mentor.
They were a quartet, more like a tag team who were so passionate about attending seminars, conferences, symposia, public lecturers, talks etc., all because they had a dream of becoming great speakers in future. They were talented, brilliant, diligent and ambitious young men. Apart from gleaning from the wealth of insight and experiences of these great speakers whose inspiring talks they go to listen to, they also primarily go so as to learn how great speakers speak. After all, as I often say: "If you know where you are going your journey is short, if you know how to get there your journey is shorter, if you know who has got there your journey is shortest..."
They delightfully made it a point of duty to look out for information on where and when any conference or talk was taking place and nothing stopped them from attending, even when a number of times they had to trek long distances to these events, due to lack of transportation fare. As they gleaned these oratorical skills from these speaking greats they also in turn through their speaking enclaves began deploying these skills. The more they did the better they got and confident of their future of becoming great speakers. That was years ago.

These quartet today are living their dreams in different ways and in different parts of the world. One of them currently leads a vibrant and flourishing spiritual organisation as the founding Pastor, another is the Human Resource head in one of the leading African banks, another is doing so well as an inspirational speaker in the United States of America, the last but not the least (the fourth of the quartet) has grown into a quintessential polymath who as a professional speaker and image grooming consultant epitomises impeccable sartorial polish, with a dramatic and effervescent delivery style which illuminates any audience and imparts proven hands-on and recreatable solutions. He founded the first Compere academy in Africa and currently is the Chief Operating Officer of a leading international finishing academy in Nigeria. That fourth of the quartet is ME! Oladele Olunike.


Pursuit is the proof of desire! You will never possess what you are unwilling to pursue. Your desire is portrayed by your pursuit. Your pursuit will always be in the direction of your desire. When I see what you are pursuing, I can tell what you are aiming to possess. The story of my three friends and I that I shared with you earlier shows that it is what you desire that will determine what you will go after and what you go after determines what is possible for you to possess. We desired years ago to become great speakers and so we went after great speakers, listening to them and learning how to become great speakers. What we are steadily possessing today tells a lot about our desires and pursuit years ago.  Whatever commands your pursuit betrays your desire. If you must make the most of mentorship, if you must glean all that is available and possible from your mentor's wealth of insight and experience (so as to become who you have envisioned yourself to be)  you must make the pursuit of your mentor a non-negotiable priority. The mentor you don't pursue his or her 'possessions' you don't possess. To enjoy your mentor's grace you must endure your mentor's chase.

I have had the pleasure of mentoring and still mentor quite a number of people- some young, some my age mate and others older than me. It is amazing to see how some of them have accused me of not get in touch with them after seeing or hearing from them after a long time. So amusing I must say. While I am not saying the mentor should not bother to get in touch with his or her proteges or mentees to find out how they are keeping, because I do that actually and I am fortunate to have mentors over me who also get in touch with me. However, I am saying it is your fundamental responsibility as a protege to get in touch or keep in touch with your mentor. Please my dear friend, permit me to say to you colloquially as I often say that; "It is the one that is seeking something that MUST possess a longer arm so as to collect it." By that I mean it is the one who needs something that MUST GO AFTER the one from whom he or she wants to collect it. You as the protege is the one who needs to glean from your mentor's insight, experience etc. In other words, you are the one who NEEDS something from your mentor and hence MUST GO AFTER him or her! At the risk of presenting this immodestly; what you intend to glean from your mentor, he or she already has and is using it for his or her own benefit. So your mentor 'DOES NOT NEED' you, you are the one that NEEDS your mentor and what he or she has to offer you.  The pursuit of your mentor therefore is non-negotiable if you must make the most of your relationship (mentorship) with him or her.



Pursuing your mentor.
Pursuing Your Mentor- 
To pursue your mentor means to get in touch with your mentor regularly and stay in touch with him or her. This affords you the opportunity to update your mentor regularly about your progress, successes, challenges and areas of needed improvement. In the course of this you are able to receive instruction, guidance, correction and learn more from his or her life on how you can get better personally and professionally. Staying in touch also affords you the opportunity to serve your mentor,(materially and manually) which is the pathway to drawing down on the grace your mentor bears. This is what empowers the knowledge, wisdom, experience, skills etc. you glean from your mentor into delivering same results as that of your mentor for you (as discussed in details in a previous post-Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor). You should never wait for your mentor to be the one 'chasing' you to know how you are fairing (a genuine mentor will though). Think about it, how fair can it be that the one who gives you his or her time, shares his or her insight and experience with you at no cost to you, so that you can get better is still the one 'chasing' you to know how you are making progress?
You should make it a point of duty to be in touch with your mentor at least once a week; whether by one-one-one contact, telephone call or e-mail etc. Please note that where distance is not a challenge, meeting your mentor one-on-one is most effective. I have mentors over my life who care a lot about my well being personally and professionally but it is my responsibility to carry them along on how I am making progress with what I am gleaning from them. Even the one that resides in a country far from where I reside is not left out in my staying in touch. So my dear friend, distance is not an excuse not to keep in touch with your mentor. Remember, the mentor you don't pursue his or her 'possessions' you don't possess!


Benefits Of Pursuing Your Mentor-

 1. Higher Company-   

Higher company.
Company affects destiny. It is your company that determines your accomplishment. It is who you go with that determines where you end. Your companying with your mentor will naturally give you opportunity to company with people in his or her circle of influence and level of accomplishment, who ordinarily you would have not had access to. This procures for you short and long term benefits. I have business people I relate with today (many of whom are ahead of me in age, accomplishment etc.) through my companying with my mentors.

If the fact that your mentor is a person of results, progressive success etc. among other things are what endeared you to him or her, your companying with him or her will eventually make such results rob off on you. I have come into some very lucrative business deals over the years because of the higher companies I have come into through companying with my mentors. Your opportunity of higher company with your mentor will ultimately command for you higher accomplishment.


2. Favour-

Favour.
One of the many things that will come to you as benefit as you company with your mentor and serve him or her faithfully is that you will begin to enjoy the kinds of favour (privileges) that you never experienced before. These privileges or favours when you are with mentor (physically) or not will become part of your new experience. Your faithful service to your mentor (materially and manually) is what precipitates this order of favours.

I have lost count (of the magnitude) of favours over the years that I have enjoyed and still enjoy through the pursuit of my mentors. I mean many times I come into the kinds of exact favours that they enjoy in business, grace, results and even material enrichment! Now, please DO NOT get this wrong, I DID NOT set out to seek to enjoy the order of favours that my mentors enjoy. The truth is you can't pursue your mentor FAITHFULLY- serving him or her and not enjoy THE SAME order of favour and more.


3. Honour-

Honour.
I have been to quite a number of very high profile events, places and met highly placed people with my mentors (without being invited personally) over the years, sometimes in the line of duty or business. In all of these outings I have been accorded THE SAME kind of dignifying treatment that befits my mentors' statuses, not because I 'qualify' to be there but because when you pursue your mentor, serving him or her faithfully you come into honour and even THE SAME kind your mentor enjoys. Service, my friend, is the pathway to honour!


 4. Sweatless Achievement-

Sweatless achievement.
One of the basic benefits that mentorship delivers to every faithful protege is the cutting short of the protege's learning and destiny travel curve. As you enjoy a regular access to your mentor's wealth of experience (through staying in touch),  insight and wisdom on professional and (sometimes) personal matters, receiving instruction and guidance on how to be better professionally, your speed and ease of achievement is enhanced. Sweatless achievement becomes a regular experience with you because you receive advance counsels from your mentor on how better to approach destiny tasks which ordinarily you would have erred at, (perhaps a few times) before you achieve success. With the pursuit of your mentor the wisdom that you glean from your mentor's experience makes you achieve success sweatlessly.


5. A Sought-After Solutionist-

Sought-after solutionist.
 As you continue to pick your mentor's brain and leverage on his or her insight on all professional and personal matters and your sweatless achievements steadily soar, you will command the attention of other younger folks and even your peers who may be amazed at your progress in your professional pursuit. Soon they will begin to seek your opinion and counsel on matters of importance and soon start to look up to you for guidance. You will soon become a sought-after solutionist and mentor to others, as requests to be mentored by these people will start to come your way. It was just about a year after I began being mentored by my first mentor years ago that younger folks and even my peers started requesting that I mentor them. Not because they liked my face but because they started seeing around me the kind of success they desired to have and ultimately in me the picture of their preferred future. Today, just as my mentors have increased in number, the number of my proteges across the globe has also soared astronomically and it's still growing. In fact, I get an average of 4 requests per month from young and upwardly mobile professionals who need me to mentor them.


Please permit me to reiterate that if you must mine all the diamonds in the rich minefield of your mentor's life; making the most of this relationship so as to better your life, the pursuit of your mentor is most fundamental and critical! You can't pursue your mentor and all these aforementioned benefits won't be added to you. However, please NEVER let these benefits be your motive for pursuing your mentor. They are guaranteed fringe benefits as long as you pursue your mentor faithfully without seeking personal gains, as seeking personal gains turns you from a protege to a parasite!  You are assured of my best intentions in your (faithful) pursuit of your mentor!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.

Relating with your million dollar mentor.
Many years ago, as a growing young boy, I used to come down with malaria fever every two weeks. I was the most regular of all my siblings at our family Doctor’s. At every of my visits, he delightfully ‘entertains’ me (administers) with the medications that will bring me to. At my departure, he will always give me 'take aways' of the medications for on going treatment after my three to four days' sojourn in his ward. I hated pills, (still do) particularly because of the after taste and smell that usually lurks in my lungs and announces itself anytime I belch afterwards. Due to this, I never get to exhaust any of my medications at anytime. This rather counter-productive habit always precipitated a relapse of this illness that sends me back to my Doctor’s. The diagnosis this time is predictable: incompletion of medication dosage.

My dear friend, the lesson I learnt from that experience is that: half medication causes health relapse. Just like half medication causes health relapse, half information causes destiny relapse. So having learnt in the last edition how to "Discover Your Million Dollar Mentor", I will like us to discuss in this sequel "Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor."

"If you know where you are going..."
If you know WHERE you are going, your journey is short. If you know HOW to get there, your journey is shorter. If you know WHO has gotten there, your journey is shortest. If you are WILLING to SUBMIT to WHO has got there by APPRENTICESHIP, and he or she is WILLING to take you on through MENTORSHIP (MENTORING), you are there! This I call the sum total of mentorship or mentoring- destiny jackpot. In the statement above that I christened ‘destiny jackpot’, I said: …”if you are WILLING to SUBMIT to who has got there”….because like I said in Discover Your Million Dollar Mentor; “Mentorship is NOT imposition of authority (i.e of the mentor on the protégé or mentee) but empowerment of the mentor into authority (over the protégé) through the SUBMISSION of the protégé to the mentor”, In other words, it is the protégé that empowers the mentor into authority over him or her by his or her WILLING SUBMISSION to the mentor. In the absence of a WILLING SUBMISSION of the protégé to a mentor, what we’ll have is self imposition (of the mentor over the protege) and NOT mentorship. It is on this “WILLING SUBMISSION “ perspective that I will like to discuss Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.

My dear friend, please  always remember that mentorship is a (destiny) relationship (between the protégé and his or her mentor), and for any relationship to thrive, there are certain vital relational skills that must be understood and put to work. Having located the kind of personality that you believe best fits to mentor you (your million dollar mentor) you have got to initiate this relationship by approaching him or her, before you can relate with this personality.

Meeting your million dollar mentor.
Meeting Your Million Dollar Mentor-

Seek audience with him or her informally first, ( i.e in person, verbally expressing your desire or request ) particularly if he or she is within your geographical reach. There are instances where your preferred mentor(s) may be beyond your reach, (geographically) you can bridge this gap through telephone calls, e-mail, fax etc. to express your request. This second option is however the only option opened to those who may not have their preferred mentor(s) within their reach geographically and may not be disposed to be able to meet the preferred mentor in person. I mean for example, if a protege resides in Dallas Texas in America, preferred mentor resides in Lagos, Nigeria and the protege can't afford the traveling expenses to go meet with his preferred mentor, I suggest he or she (potential mentee) should employ e-mail, telephone etc. to connect with the potential mentor.
However, for utmost effectiveness in mentorship relationship, one-on-one contact of the protégé with the mentor is advisable. Though for mentees with their mentors out of their geographical reach, after the mentorship relationship has commenced, the protege can be mentored through e-mail from his mentor, his or her mentor's news letters, tapes, CDs, VCDs, DVDs, books, articles in journals, magazines or blogs like this one. For instance with about 158 of my mentees dotting three continents, some of them in the past years could have only received Mentorship from me through the electronic, print and new media. As helpful as that has been in the facilitation of my Mentorship programme with some of my mentees that are far flung from me, I must reiterate that regular one-on-one contact with your mentor is expedient if you must make the most of Mentorship relationship.  

Having met your mentor, first informally, and verbalising your request, you’ve got to make it formal by writing a formal letter to your would-be mentor (because mentorship is a serious relationship for the focused and those with their mind set on their future and desirous of making the most of destiny), referring to your last visit where you verbally sought a mentorship relationship with him or her, thank him or her for the audience granted you. State the purpose of your seeking this relationship, which is for him or her to be your career or relationship or business or professional or ministry or destiny etc. mentor. Commend and let him or her know you admire his or her enviable achievements (in personal and professional life-especially in the area you need him or her to mentor you) and you will like for him or her to afford you the privilege to walk in his or her precepts which you’ve chosen to follow, so as to make the most of destiny. Let him or her know how you hold him or her in high regard for his or her success and achievements which has endeared you to him or her. (No flatteries please). This is why you should have followed the track record of this personality well so as to be sure of what you are saying. End your letter by pledging your unflinching commitment, dedication and loyalty to this relationship if given the privilege.

This pledge is important because mentors will want to know those (protégés) who are serious with what they are asking for. In my little over a decade of being a mentor to individuals and organisations, I have seen them (protégés) come in different ‘shades’, ‘shapes’, ‘sizes’ and what have you, in character. My experience is that while a number of  protégés are certain about their desire to be mentored, armed with the right motives (which is to glean from the experience of those or someone who has made a mark in their chosen field, so as to be rightly guided) and are serious and committed to same if given the privilege,  there are a bunch of (alarmingly) many others who seek mentorship relationship for ALL other motives but the right ones. I call them parasites in proteges' togas. They are never serious, committed or dedicated to what they professed or profess, all because their motives were flawed from the onset. If your motive for requesting for Mentorship relationship is wrong, it will soon be revealed by time. For example, some wrong motives that some of our youngsters these days have for seeking to be mentored are so sadly warped to say the least. Some seek mentorship with a particular mentor so as to earn the kind of attractive income the prospective mentor earns, drive the kind of luxurious car(s) he or she drives, live in the kind of posh apartment the prospective mentor resides in, use the prospective mentor's clout to secure professional connections etc. All these are wrong motives which will soon expose how a phony you are. Mentorship is a serious relationship for those going somewhere in destiny and need a 'tour guide' (mentor) who can help them navigate through a road map which they have travelled in that can get the protege to his or her Eldorado.

Having fulfilled all these requirements meant to put you in good stead with your would-be mentor, and he or she having perused your letter, is convinced about the genuineness of your request, I am hopeful he or she will take you on.

One of the sources from which every flourishing relationship draws it strength is effective communication. In the absence of communication, a relationship breaks down. Communication however goes beyond words, your disposition, availability, loyalty all communicate something in your relating with your million dollar mentor as a protégé. Let’s discuss three steps to relating with your million dollar mentor.

Three Steps To Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.

Believe in your mentor.
1. Believe In Your Mentor-  

In modern day sales and marketing of products (goods and services) customers buy into the brand of a product, or the brand of the personality behind the product or that produced the product before they buy the product. In the same way, you as the protégé has to ‘buy into’ the personality of your mentor by believing  in him or her, what he or she stands for, his or her ideals, ideologies, philosophies etc. before what he or she can deliver or has delivered in terms of achievements depending on the profession he  or she is given to.

Your belief in your mentor draws on the potency of a mystery that imparts you with the 'ability' to bring about the same order of results, possibly better that he or she has in his or her career, profession, field, calling, assignment, ministry, family, etc. that endeared you to him or her in the first place. What you believe is what you will receive, what you don’t believe, never expect to receive. What you believe, you don’t only receive, but you become! Your belief in your mentor is a force that draws on the strength, wits, wisdom, grace, that he or she bears, to make happen for you the same order of result he or she has in your desired area or areas of life in which he or she is mentoring you. Until you believe in your mentor(s) neither will his or her precept deliver to you your desired order of results, achievements, success. May I ask you?  Do you think there’s any benefit in following the one you don’t believe in?

Honour your mentor.
2. Honour Your Mentor-
 
In the wise words of one of  my highly revered teachers, he said and I quote: “What you respect you attract”. In other words, what you don’t respect, you repel. There is a measure of respect, reverence and honour that is required in relating with anyone one is involved with in any kind of relationship, how much more your mentor?  The mentor you don’t respect, his or her grace, never expect to attract, let alone commanding his or her order of achievements. Why? At the root of the achievements of your mentor is a grace that makes happen for him or her the result(s) you see in his or her life, career, business etc. endearing you to him or her. If you as a protégé must partake of the grace your mentor bears to deliver the same order of result he or she commands, you’ve got to honour (respect, revere, regard and appreciate) your mentor. Honour him or her not just because he or she is older than you (if he or she is) but because  he or she bears a grace  you NEED to partake of and command the order of results he or she commands. What you are honouring is NOT his or her age, but his or her GRACE (which is divine). Your mentor may be your age mate, but he or she is NOT your 'classmate' ; so honour him or her for his or her grace!

Serve your mentor.
3. Serve Your Mentor- 

As a polymath with skills set in three major vocations -Theatre Practice (acting,script writing, directing), Professional Speaking (inspirational/motivational speaking, training, compeering), Creative Writing (column writing, blogging), I am fortunate to be mentored by some of the finest gentlemen and seasoned professionals that I have ever met in these vocations. I have been positively impacted and still being impacted in no little way by these highly revered mentors of mine. The admirable order and depth of growing achievements I am fortunate to have today in the work I do  can’t be divorced from the excellent mentorship impartations I am receiving from my mentors.

In about 15 years of theatre practice I have scripted, directed and produced over 450 stage works, most of which I played lead roles. I have written 2 film scripts.  In my professional speaking work I have spoken ( inspirational speaking, compeering, training) at hundreds of conferences, seminars, symposia, workshops, events. One of those events had about 350,000 people in (live) attendance. I have facilitated the first ever compere academy in Africa (World Class Compere Academy) with headquarters in Lagos, established four campus branches across Nigeria and graduated over 300 graduands. In my creative writing work, I have written hundreds of articles in a number of magazines, blogs and still do. The quality of my impact and services have been associated with the quality of impact and services of my mentors. Some members of my audience often meet me after speaking or compeering or training or acting on stage to inquire : …“do you have any affiliation with so so and so? (my mentors) I often smile and reply : “Yes, he’s my mentor”…My dear friend, the one who mentors you largely determines the order of results you deliver. Why? A mentor is the prophetic picture of a protégé's preferred future.

However, it is pertinent to state clearly that among other things that I didn’t come into this order of result through my mentors' mentoring without one secret- service (to my mentors). Beyond believing in your mentor, honouring your mentor, serving your mentor or service to your mentor is one of the most potent secrets of tapping into the same grace your mentor bears to deliver for you the same order of results. The mentor you don’t serve, his or her grace you DON’T deserve! My dear friend, this may not sound like a popular school of thought in secular circles of mentorship, it may sound barbaric  or archaic, but I present to you a principle that I have practiced for a total of 14years of being mentored and has brought me endless rewards and still does.

 I hold strongly that until one is a certified doer of a principle, he or she is not a qualified teacher of the same. As a protégé to those who have gone ahead of me as my mentors and a mentor to others looking up to me in the last 11 years, I modestly say I am a certified doer, hence a qualified teacher of this principle of service to your mentor. Serving your mentor (through your time, energy, resources) in all areas that you see an opportunity to serve (not until you are asked to, willingly and cheerfully) is a potent way of relating with your mentor to access the grace he or she bears so that grace can enable you deliver the same order (quality) of results. Any time I have the opportunity to be with my mentors- at home, work- office, co-speaking or compeering, performing together on stage, on a speaking or performing trip, I am always on the look out for an opportunity to serve them- from the menial chores to the professional chores (drive, clean the car, sort traveling luggage, pay internet subscription (not with my money but with the one they give me to pay), pay telephone bills, purchase flight tickets, prepare presentation slides, go act or speak or compeer on their behalves etc. and that is still till date!  Behind the quality of achievements that your mentor delivers (among other things) is a grace (divine enablement) that makes them happen. If you want that quality of achievement, you need the grace your mentor bears and if you must access the grace your mentor bears, (in addditon to believing in him or her, honouring him or her) you will need to serve him or her (willingly and cheerfully). Why do you think I also have today young folks who I mentor and others who seek my mentorship and even request just to serve me?  There is no gimmick about it- "what you sow you will reap..."  Look friend, service is the pathway to honour!

Types of Service-
There are two kinds of service that I know and has worked for me in the past years that I will recommend for you.

Material Service.
1. Material Service-  

This is service to or serving your mentor through your means. There is a measure of material gift you need to sow (invest) into the life of your mentor to tap into the grace he or she bears. Please note, not because your mentor has a need or needs whatever material gift (resources) you sow (invest) into his or her life, NO! On the contrary, you as the protégé are the one that needs the grace your mentor bears to launch forth into your next phase in  life and destiny, hence your need  to sow (invest) the gift into his or her life as you deem fit.

Please this is a mystery, there is NO known textbook or academic explanation for this. However, strangely, it works! I speak experientially as an ardent praticitoner and a fulfilled beneficiary of this mystery till date!  I needed a launch into my next phase of life and destiny badly about a decade ago. All I had at that material time was one meagre sum. I had identified 7 different areas of one of my mentor’s life (personally and professionally) in which I admired the kind of successes he was recording and I needed badly. This meagre sum was what I gave at that time in FAITH and before too long, I began to deliver the same order of results with GREAT EASE and LESS SWEAT. Today, my life, personally and professionally has since totally turned around for the better. Did I say my life is still turning for the better, because this principle has become a lifestyle for me in "relating with my million dollar mentors." Please note, it is not in the volume (of what you give), but in the value you place on it and the faith you have in this ‘mystery’. It has worked for me and still working for me till date, and  many others (protégés), that I’ve taught and still teaching. I trust you can enjoy same.

Manual Service.
2. Manual Service-  

Service to your mentor is not only by your means, but also by your might- manual service (through your time, energy, availability, to run errands etc.) It is doing the 'basest' but rewarding chores for your mentor-the ‘dirty’ jobs so to speak. Till date, I still run errands for mentors delightfully, because you should never be too old, successful, highly placed to serve your mentor. My experience has been that; the grace you draw from your mentor through manual service is GREATER  than that which you draw through your material service. Remember, this grace  is a divine enablement, which is at the root of ANY human exploit. It can't be taught, but only imparted! It is not as though, through your mentor’s teachings, guidance, coaching, training, etc. you will not acquire the skills, knowledge and wisdom, to make you acquire the kind of results that endeared you to him or her, but it is this grace that ACTIVATES ( brings to life, makes real or substantial, tangible) all you’ve learnt from your mentor, to translate into sweatless, stressless and strainless success for you. It is NOT all that are succeeding that are 'sweating', the pathway to that stressless success is MENTORSHIP! Remember? ; “If you know WHERE you are going, your journey is short. If you know HOW to get there, your journey is shorter. If you know WHO has got there, your journey is shortest. If you are WILLING to SUBMIT to WHO has got there by APPRENTICESHIP, and he or she is WILLING to take you on through MENTORSHIP, you are there!” This is my story today my dear friend, it can be yours too. It is my wish for you that your own story too will soon be told! This generation and the one coming will celebrate your monumental feats too!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Discover Your Million  Dollar Mentor.

Who is a Mentor?

A Mentor is an experienced person who advises and helps somebody with less experience over a period of time. The experienced in this definition is the mentor, and the less experienced (or in  experienced) is the protégé or mentee. The ‘experience’ which the Mentor shares with the protégé could be in a particular field of endeavour, a particular aspect of life or various fields or aspects of life. That’s why it’s instructive (as I’ll be discussing later) that the choice of who a protégé decides to mentor him or her must be somebody  (a mentor) among other things, in his/her field. The protégé enjoys the privilege of leveraging on the experience of the mentor to launch forth in life and destiny.
 
A Mentor is the prophetic picture of a protégé’s preferred future. A mentor is the ladder that takes a protégé higher. A mentor is the secret to a protégé’s extra-ordinary success. A mentor is the roadmap to the protégé’s destiny. A mentor  is a custodian of divine virtue, meant to enhance a protégé’s destiny value. A mentor is a coach, a goad, a teacher, a trainer, who schools a protégé into exploits and releases him/her into destiny. If you my dear reader must make a mark too difficult to erase in life and destiny, you  NEED a mentor.
 
What is Mentorship?

Mentorship refers to a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps a less experienced or less knowledgeable person.
The person in receipt of mentorship may be referred to as a protégé (male), a protégée (female), an apprentice or, in recent years, a mentee.

Mentoring is a process that always involves communication and is relationship based, but its precise definition is elusive. One definition of the many that have been proposed, is:
Mentoring is a process for the informal transmission of knowledge, social capital, and the psychosocial support perceived by the recipient as relevant to work, career, or professional development;mentoring entails informal communication, usually face-to-face and during a sustained period of time, between a person who is perceived to have greater relevant knowledge, wisdom, or experience (the mentor) and a person who is perceived to have less (the protégé).

Mentorship (or mentoring) is a destiny relationship where the mentor shares his/her wealth of experience with his/her mentee with respect to a particular aspect(s) of life or field(s) of endeavour. Through mentorship, a mentor out of  his wealth of insight, wisdom and experience tutors, helps to discover hidden talents of the mentee and nurture them into skills.
 
What Mentorship is not.

Mentorship is not imposition of authority, but an empowerment into authority by the submission of a mentee to a mentor. Until a protégé submits to a mentor, a Mentor has NO right of authority over a protégé, neither can he or she exercise same.
 
Locating and Securing Your Million Dollar Mentor-

The task of locating and securing a mentor is solely that of a protégé to embark on and not the other way round. It’s a protégé that searches out and chooses who he or she can submit to, to be mentored by. That person who he or she would be willing to submit to, by empowering him or her to have the right of authority over him or her and therefore have right to exercise same. 

The task of locating and securing a mentor by a protégé is one that should be done meticulously and never rashly or hastily. Those who rush into a relationship that’s meant to be a long term one, often rush out with regrets and heartaches. Mentorship relationship is a destiny influencing  relationship such that if care is not taken in how one chooses his or her mentor, the choice of a 'wrong' mentor can  adversely affect one's destiny. This is so vital, critical, and crucial because your mentor is a type of your destiny compass in human form. In addition, who you go with determines where you end. The question therefore is, what are those basic criteria you must consider in choosing your million dollar mentor or what basic qualities are  germaine to help you locate that mentor suited for your life and destiny?
 
Criteria to Consider in Choosing Your Million Dollar Mentor-

A- Locating-
Most and generally, it’s result(s) i.e the enviable or admirable success(es) or achievements of a particular individual in any field of endeavour or area of life that endears a potential mentee to a mentor. In all of human endeavours and societies all around the world, it is result (and not age ) that commands respect. So as you intend to locate your mentor, let his or her result(s), enviable track record(s), success(es) or inspiring achievements be what should command your respect and help you locate that suitable mentor for you. Putting it more in succinctly, while result or success, generally speaking in any aspect of life or field of endeavour  is a primary quality  of attraction to a mentor, there are other definite and more instructive qualities to look out for in helping you as a protégé locate your mentor.
 
1. Relevant Field -
“Birds of the same feather... “ they say: “flock together”. First and foremost , in locating your desired mentor, you’ve got to carefully seek out such an individual within your  field professionally, career, vision, assignment, business type, etc. Your preferred mentor should be engaged in what you are engaged in professionally. You can’t be a clothier (fashion designer) for instance and your preferred mentor is a musician. It won’t work- lest you begin to “sing your designs”. Career, profession, business etc. compactibility is non-negotiable if you must make the most of mentorship relationship with your mentor. A man can’t give what he does not have. Since your sole purpose of needing a mentor is to have somebody who has treaded the path you’re treading or intend to tread in your career, business, ministry, vision, relationship etc. to guide you, instruct you, lead you, encourage you, motivate you, inspire you and help you get better in your chosen career, field, business etc. it’s only wise to seek out that individual within your field. It is in your field that he or she can lay claim on any experience that will be relevant for your mentoring professionally.
 
2.​Success in that Field -
There is a very instruct proverb of the “Yorubas” (the Yorubas hail from the western part of Nigeria in West Africa), that says: “It’s the gliding strides of the preceding horse that determines that of the upcoming one”. How apt? If your mentor is supposed to be a model for you to learn from, it’s therefore a predictive certainty that if you choose a mentor who’s a failure, regardless of whether he or she is in your field, you’re bound to fail!   (That will not be your lot).  It’s therefore instructive to note that you must not just choose a mentor in your field but also one that has made a success of that career, profession, business, ministry etc. you intend to mentor after. Ancient wisdom opines that… “Out of a bitter tree a sweet fruit can’t spring forth….” and….”by their fruits…..we shall  know them…”. Every mentee being mentored by his or her mentor is (in the ultimate) a fruit of his or her mentor. So if all your preferred mentor  has to offer is a track record of ‘beautiful failures’ never expect to be instructed, guided, inspired, motivated or mentored to succeed by such an individual in your career, business, trade, professional etc.  Simply put, never choose a failure as a mentor lest you fail like him or her.
 
3.​Progressive Success-
26 years ago, my father bought a brand new model Peugeot 505 saloon car. It was his fourth car at that time. Waoh! It sparked an ecstatic celebration in our family. A couple of weeks ago I saw the same type of my then Dad’s car being driven along the road, the sight of it got me amused and disgusted. Not because perhaps it was a rickety looking one? No, but I couldn’t identify with the glory, splendour, ambience, prestige and elegance I saw with the same car 26 years ago.

 In 2011 if  top 10 luxury cars are to be mentioned, I can assure you that  this car won’t get the honour of a mention. Why so? Auto discrimination? I don’t think so. Simple, yesterday’s excellence is today’s standard. What was celebrated yesterday is tolerated today. Those who are not updated would soon be outdated. It’s not enough for your preferred mentor to be in your relevant field, be successful in that field, career, profession, if his or her success is not progressive he or she would soon be outdated. You don’t wanna follow such a person. Your mentor is your leader who should always be ahead of you in result, success, exploits, so as to be able to always command your respect and inspiration.

Please don’t forget that it is result and not age or longevity that commands respect. Your mentor must be somebody who must always be able to command your respect and it is through his or her constantly progressive success that he or she will be able to do that. Moreover, if he or she is not progressive in his or her success, as long as you stick to his or her leadership, you can’t be better yourself, you are stalked. So please note.
 
4.​Integrity -
As your mentor shares with you his or her time, insight, foresight, experience etc. meant to help you move to greater heights in your field, you are bound not just to be impacted by him or her but also IMPARTED by him or her. Beyond skills and expertise that you’ll acquire through your interraction (even though you are a different individual in your own respect and mentorship is NOT designed to make you a clone of your mentor) even at that there are certain behavioural traits of your mentor that you’ll unconsciously and effortlessly begin to exhibit. 

This is so because mentorship is beyond sharing your mentor’s experience to better you, but ultimately impartation of the grace he or she bears. This is why one vital trait such as integrity is one you must be sure the one you desire to mentor you has. It is said: “Show me your friend and I’ll tell you who you are.” If you never used to lie and you follow a liar as a mentor, it’s only a matter of time you may soon begin to claim you saw white when actually it was black you saw. 

Why is integrity so vital? Integrity is the whole essence of a being no matter the degree of success, result or achievement a person has in any field. No matter how noble that field is, his or her success amounts to little or nothing if he or she lacks integrity. Commenting on him or her you’ll hear things like:(Let’s imagine that he or she is “Z” by name) "Oh! Mr. Or Miss Z is most qualified for this job considering his or her intimidating and impressive resume but he or she lacks integrity”. What a destiny stumbling block? Integrity. It is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. Integrity is the perfect alignment of your thoughts, words and actions. Integrity says it  and does it. How do you know if you have integrity? When you say it, do you do what you promised to do? How beit, integrity is associated with positive or right actions. So you can’t say integrity is doing what you promised to do and associate it with negative actions or derogative intentions or deeds. Integrity in your mentor or anybody at all and including you my dear reader breeds trust in you, from those who relate or associate with you. Integrity breeds reliability and confidence of people in an individual.
 
5.​Spiritual Compatibility- 
Ancient wisdom inquires… “Can two work together except they be agreed?…” In other words there can’t be a relationship (such as mentorship) without compatibility. And the highest form of compatibility that governs every other compatibility  is spiritual compatibility. The spiritual is superior to the physical. Nothing appears physically that did not first exist in the spirit. So if you and your preferred mentor must succeed in your mentorship relationship, spiritual compatibility is non-negotiable. 

 I often assert without sentiments during sessions in mentorship classes with mentees that “Mentorship is essentially and fundamentally a spiritual union.” It transcends any other form of relationship in mentorship that may be  physical. Mentorship is NOT a man-made relationship design, but a God-instituted relationship, designated to transfer His grace upon one vessel to another or others from one generation to another for the purpose of the furtherance of His divine will and agenda for that generation. 

No matter how endowed a gentleman or lady is by reason of how God created him or her and no matter how enviable a destiny God has for him or her, God has still designed that mentorship  is one very potent key by which such an individual will make the most of his or her destiny.  I speak experientially. If so true therefore, in addition to relevant field, success in that field, progressive success and integrity, spiritual compatibility is fundamentally important for a most rewarding mentorship relationship.

Please remember that life is all about the choices we make every now and then. We are what we are today, where we are today and how we are today based on the choices we made 'yesterday', professionally, financially, emotionally, maritally and spiritually. So in the choice of your 'destiny compass'- (preferred) million dollar mentor, mind how you choose. I hope you will find the suggestions above helpful.

Now that you know how to discover your million dollar mentor, in the next edition  I hope to share with you on how to secure your mentor, having located  the one you believe is divinely designed to guide you through destiny, relating  with your mentor…etc. 

You’ll not fail! You’ll arrive at destiny in grand style. Your story shall soon be dubbed as a breaking news. You shall excell beyond your wildest imagination. It’s your turn!