In The Pursuit Of Your Mentor.

In The Pursuit Of Your Mentor.

They were a quartet, more like a tag team who were so passionate about attending seminars, conferences, symposia, public lecturers, talks etc., all because they had a dream of becoming great speakers in future. They were talented, brilliant, diligent and ambitious young men. Apart from gleaning from the wealth of insight and experiences of these great speakers whose inspiring talks they go to listen to, they also primarily go so as to learn how great speakers speak. After all, as I often say: "If you know where you are going your journey is short, if you know how to get there your journey is shorter, if you know who has got there your journey is shortest..."
They delightfully made it a point of duty to look out for information on where and when any conference or talk was taking place and nothing stopped them from attending, even when a number of times they had to trek long distances to these events, due to lack of transportation fare. As they gleaned these oratorical skills from these speaking greats they also in turn through their speaking enclaves began deploying these skills. The more they did the better they got and confident of their future of becoming great speakers. That was years ago.

These quartet today are living their dreams in different ways and in different parts of the world. One of them currently leads a vibrant and flourishing spiritual organisation as the founding Pastor, another is the Human Resource head in one of the leading African banks, another is doing so well as an inspirational speaker in the United States of America, the last but not the least (the fourth of the quartet) has grown into a quintessential polymath who as a professional speaker and image grooming consultant epitomises impeccable sartorial polish, with a dramatic and effervescent delivery style which illuminates any audience and imparts proven hands-on and recreatable solutions. He founded the first Compere academy in Africa and currently is the Chief Operating Officer of a leading international finishing academy in Nigeria. That fourth of the quartet is ME! Oladele Olunike.


Pursuit is the proof of desire! You will never possess what you are unwilling to pursue. Your desire is portrayed by your pursuit. Your pursuit will always be in the direction of your desire. When I see what you are pursuing, I can tell what you are aiming to possess. The story of my three friends and I that I shared with you earlier shows that it is what you desire that will determine what you will go after and what you go after determines what is possible for you to possess. We desired years ago to become great speakers and so we went after great speakers, listening to them and learning how to become great speakers. What we are steadily possessing today tells a lot about our desires and pursuit years ago.  Whatever commands your pursuit betrays your desire. If you must make the most of mentorship, if you must glean all that is available and possible from your mentor's wealth of insight and experience (so as to become who you have envisioned yourself to be)  you must make the pursuit of your mentor a non-negotiable priority. The mentor you don't pursue his or her 'possessions' you don't possess. To enjoy your mentor's grace you must endure your mentor's chase.

I have had the pleasure of mentoring and still mentor quite a number of people- some young, some my age mate and others older than me. It is amazing to see how some of them have accused me of not get in touch with them after seeing or hearing from them after a long time. So amusing I must say. While I am not saying the mentor should not bother to get in touch with his or her proteges or mentees to find out how they are keeping, because I do that actually and I am fortunate to have mentors over me who also get in touch with me. However, I am saying it is your fundamental responsibility as a protege to get in touch or keep in touch with your mentor. Please my dear friend, permit me to say to you colloquially as I often say that; "It is the one that is seeking something that MUST possess a longer arm so as to collect it." By that I mean it is the one who needs something that MUST GO AFTER the one from whom he or she wants to collect it. You as the protege is the one who needs to glean from your mentor's insight, experience etc. In other words, you are the one who NEEDS something from your mentor and hence MUST GO AFTER him or her! At the risk of presenting this immodestly; what you intend to glean from your mentor, he or she already has and is using it for his or her own benefit. So your mentor 'DOES NOT NEED' you, you are the one that NEEDS your mentor and what he or she has to offer you.  The pursuit of your mentor therefore is non-negotiable if you must make the most of your relationship (mentorship) with him or her.

Pursuing your mentor.

Pursuing Your Mentor- 
To pursue your mentor means to get in touch with your mentor regularly and stay in touch with him or her. This affords you the opportunity to update your mentor regularly about your progress, successes, challenges and areas of needed improvement. In the course of this you are able to receive instruction, guidance, correction and learn more from his or her life on how you can get better personally and professionally. Staying in touch also affords you the opportunity to serve your mentor,(materially and manually) which is the pathway to drawing down on the grace your mentor bears. This is what empowers the knowledge, wisdom, experience, skills etc. you glean from your mentor into delivering same results as that of your mentor for you (as discussed in details in a previous post-Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor). You should never wait for your mentor to be the one 'chasing' you to know how you are fairing (a genuine mentor will though). Think about it, how fair can it be that the one who gives you his or her time, shares his or her insight and experience with you at no cost to you, so that you can get better is still the one 'chasing' you to know how you are making progress?
You should make it a point of duty to be in touch with your mentor at least once a week; whether by one-one-one contact, telephone call or e-mail etc. Please note that where distance is not a challenge, meeting your mentor one-on-one is most effective. I have mentors over my life who care a lot about my well being personally and professionally but it is my responsibility to carry them along on how I am making progress with what I am gleaning from them. Even the one that resides in a country far from where I reside is not left out in my staying in touch. So my dear friend, distance is not an excuse not to keep in touch with your mentor. Remember, the mentor you don't pursue his or her 'possessions' you don't possess!


Benefits Of Pursuing Your Mentor-

 1. Higher Company-   

Higher company.

Company affects destiny. It is your company that determines your accomplishment. It is who you go with that determines where you end. Your companying with your mentor will naturally give you opportunity to company with people in his or her circle of influence and level of accomplishment, who ordinarily you would have not had access to. This procures for you short and long term benefits. I have business people I relate with today (many of whom are ahead of me in age, accomplishment etc.) through my companying with my mentors.

If the fact that your mentor is a person of results, progressive success etc. among other things are what endeared you to him or her, your companying with him or her will eventually make such results rob off on you. I have come into some very lucrative business deals over the years because of the higher companies I have come into through companying with my mentors. Your opportunity of higher company with your mentor will ultimately command for you higher accomplishment.


2. Favour-

Favour.

One of the many things that will come to you as benefit as you company with your mentor and serve him or her faithfully is that you will begin to enjoy the kinds of favour (privileges) that you never experienced before. These privileges or favours when you are with mentor (physically) or not will become part of your new experience. Your faithful service to your mentor (materially and manually) is what precipitates this order of favours.

I have lost count (of the magnitude) of favours over the years that I have enjoyed and still enjoy through the pursuit of my mentors. I mean many times I come into the kinds of exact favours that they enjoy in business, grace, results and even material enrichment! Now, please DO NOT get this wrong, I DID NOT set out to seek to enjoy the order of favours that my mentors enjoy. The truth is you can't pursue your mentor FAITHFULLY- serving him or her and not enjoy THE SAME order of favour and more.


3. Honour-

Honour.

I have been to quite a number of very high profile events, places and met highly placed people with my mentors (without being invited personally) over the years, sometimes in the line of duty or business. In all of these outings I have been accorded THE SAME kind of dignifying treatment that befits my mentors' statuses, not because I 'qualify' to be there but because when you pursue your mentor, serving him or her faithfully you come into honour and even THE SAME kind your mentor enjoys. Service, my friend, is the pathway to honour!


 4. Sweatless Achievement-

Sweatless achievement.

One of the basic benefits that mentorship delivers to every faithful protege is the cutting short of the protege's learning and destiny travel curve. As you enjoy a regular access to your mentor's wealth of experience (through staying in touch),  insight and wisdom on professional and (sometimes) personal matters, receiving instruction and guidance on how to be better professionally, your speed and ease of achievement is enhanced. Sweatless achievement becomes a regular experience with you because you receive advance counsels from your mentor on how better to approach destiny tasks which ordinarily you would have erred at, (perhaps a few times) before you achieve success. With the pursuit of your mentor the wisdom that you glean from your mentor's experience makes you achieve success sweatlessly.


5. A Sought-After Solutionist-

Sought-after solutionist.

 As you continue to pick your mentor's brain and leverage on his or her insight on all professional and personal matters and your sweatless achievements steadily soar, you will command the attention of other younger folks and even your peers who may be amazed at your progress in your professional pursuit. Soon they will begin to seek your opinion and counsel on matters of importance and soon start to look up to you for guidance. You will soon become a sought-after solutionist and mentor to others, as requests to be mentored by these people will start to come your way. It was just about a year after I began being mentored by my first mentor years ago that younger folks and even my peers started requesting that I mentor them. Not because they liked my face but because they started seeing around me the kind of success they desired to have and ultimately in me the picture of their preferred future. Today, just as my mentors have increased in number, the number of my proteges across the globe has also soared astronomically and it's still growing. In fact, I get an average of 4 requests per month from young and upwardly mobile professionals who need me to mentor them.


Please permit me to reiterate that if you must mine all the diamonds in the rich minefield of your mentor's life; making the most of this relationship so as to better your life, the pursuit of your mentor is most fundamental and critical! You can't pursue your mentor and all these aforementioned benefits won't be added to you. However, please NEVER let these benefits be your motive for pursuing your mentor. They are guaranteed fringe benefits as long as you pursue your mentor faithfully without seeking personal gains, as seeking personal gains turns you from a protege to a parasite!  You are assured of my best intentions in your (faithful) pursuit of your mentor!

Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.

Relating with your million dollar mentor.

Many years ago, as a growing young boy, I used to come down with malaria fever every two weeks. I was the most regular of all my siblings at our family Doctor’s. At every of my visits, he delightfully ‘entertains’ me (administers) with the medications that will bring me to. At my departure, he will always give me 'take aways' of the medications for on going treatment after my three to four days' sojourn in his ward. I hated pills, (still do) particularly because of the after taste and smell that usually lurks in my lungs and announces itself anytime I belch afterwards. Due to this, I never get to exhaust any of my medications at anytime. This rather counter-productive habit always precipitated a relapse of this illness that sends me back to my Doctor’s. The diagnosis this time is predictable: incompletion of medication dosage.

My dear friend, the lesson I learnt from that experience is that: half medication causes health relapse. Just like half medication causes health relapse, half information causes destiny relapse. So having learnt in the last edition how to "Discover Your Million Dollar Mentor", I will like us to discuss in this sequel "Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor."

"If you know where you are going..."

If you know WHERE you are going, your journey is short. If you know HOW to get there, your journey is shorter. If you know WHO has gotten there, your journey is shortest. If you are WILLING to SUBMIT to WHO has got there by APPRENTICESHIP, and he or she is WILLING to take you on through MENTORSHIP (MENTORING), you are there! This I call the sum total of mentorship or mentoring- destiny jackpot. In the statement above that I christened ‘destiny jackpot’, I said: …”if you are WILLING to SUBMIT to who has got there”….because like I said in Discover Your Million Dollar Mentor; “Mentorship is NOT imposition of authority (i.e of the mentor on the protégé or mentee) but empowerment of the mentor into authority (over the protégé) through the SUBMISSION of the protégé to the mentor”, In other words, it is the protégé that empowers the mentor into authority over him or her by his or her WILLING SUBMISSION to the mentor. In the absence of a WILLING SUBMISSION of the protégé to a mentor, what we’ll have is self imposition (of the mentor over the protege) and NOT mentorship. It is on this “WILLING SUBMISSION “ perspective that I will like to discuss Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.

My dear friend, please  always remember that mentorship is a (destiny) relationship (between the protégé and his or her mentor), and for any relationship to thrive, there are certain vital relational skills that must be understood and put to work. Having located the kind of personality that you believe best fits to mentor you (your million dollar mentor) you have got to initiate this relationship by approaching him or her, before you can relate with this personality.

Meeting your million dollar mentor.

Meeting Your Million Dollar Mentor-

Seek audience with him or her informally first, ( i.e in person, verbally expressing your desire or request ) particularly if he or she is within your geographical reach. There are instances where your preferred mentor(s) may be beyond your reach, (geographically) you can bridge this gap through telephone calls, e-mail, fax etc. to express your request. This second option is however the only option opened to those who may not have their preferred mentor(s) within their reach geographically and may not be disposed to be able to meet the preferred mentor in person. I mean for example, if a protege resides in Dallas Texas in America, preferred mentor resides in Lagos, Nigeria and the protege can't afford the traveling expenses to go meet with his preferred mentor, I suggest he or she (potential mentee) should employ e-mail, telephone etc. to connect with the potential mentor.
However, for utmost effectiveness in mentorship relationship, one-on-one contact of the protégé with the mentor is advisable. Though for mentees with their mentors out of their geographical reach, after the mentorship relationship has commenced, the protege can be mentored through e-mail from his mentor, his or her mentor's news letters, tapes, CDs, VCDs, DVDs, books, articles in journals, magazines or blogs like this one. For instance with about 158 of my mentees dotting three continents, some of them in the past years could have only received Mentorship from me through the electronic, print and new media. As helpful as that has been in the facilitation of my Mentorship programme with some of my mentees that are far flung from me, I must reiterate that regular one-on-one contact with your mentor is expedient if you must make the most of Mentorship relationship.  

Having met your mentor, first informally, and verbalising your request, you’ve got to make it formal by writing a formal letter to your would-be mentor (because mentorship is a serious relationship for the focused and those with their mind set on their future and desirous of making the most of destiny), referring to your last visit where you verbally sought a mentorship relationship with him or her, thank him or her for the audience granted you. State the purpose of your seeking this relationship, which is for him or her to be your career or relationship or business or professional or ministry or destiny etc. mentor. Commend and let him or her know you admire his or her enviable achievements (in personal and professional life-especially in the area you need him or her to mentor you) and you will like for him or her to afford you the privilege to walk in his or her precepts which you’ve chosen to follow, so as to make the most of destiny. Let him or her know how you hold him or her in high regard for his or her success and achievements which has endeared you to him or her. (No flatteries please). This is why you should have followed the track record of this personality well so as to be sure of what you are saying. End your letter by pledging your unflinching commitment, dedication and loyalty to this relationship if given the privilege.

This pledge is important because mentors will want to know those (protégés) who are serious with what they are asking for. In my little over a decade of being a mentor to individuals and organisations, I have seen them (protégés) come in different ‘shades’, ‘shapes’, ‘sizes’ and what have you, in character. My experience is that while a number of  protégés are certain about their desire to be mentored, armed with the right motives (which is to glean from the experience of those or someone who has made a mark in their chosen field, so as to be rightly guided) and are serious and committed to same if given the privilege,  there are a bunch of (alarmingly) many others who seek mentorship relationship for ALL other motives but the right ones. I call them parasites in proteges' togas. They are never serious, committed or dedicated to what they professed or profess, all because their motives were flawed from the onset. If your motive for requesting for Mentorship relationship is wrong, it will soon be revealed by time. For example, some wrong motives that some of our youngsters these days have for seeking to be mentored are so sadly warped to say the least. Some seek mentorship with a particular mentor so as to earn the kind of attractive income the prospective mentor earns, drive the kind of luxurious car(s) he or she drives, live in the kind of posh apartment the prospective mentor resides in, use the prospective mentor's clout to secure professional connections etc. All these are wrong motives which will soon expose how a phony you are. Mentorship is a serious relationship for those going somewhere in destiny and need a 'tour guide' (mentor) who can help them navigate through a road map which they have travelled in that can get the protege to his or her Eldorado.

Having fulfilled all these requirements meant to put you in good stead with your would-be mentor, and he or she having perused your letter, is convinced about the genuineness of your request, I am hopeful he or she will take you on.

One of the sources from which every flourishing relationship draws it strength is effective communication. In the absence of communication, a relationship breaks down. Communication however goes beyond words, your disposition, availability, loyalty all communicate something in your relating with your million dollar mentor as a protégé. Let’s discuss three steps to relating with your million dollar mentor.

Three Steps To Relating With Your Million Dollar Mentor.

Believe in your mentor.

1. Believe In Your Mentor-  

In modern day sales and marketing of products (goods and services) customers buy into the brand of a product, or the brand of the personality behind the product or that produced the product before they buy the product. In the same way, you as the protégé has to ‘buy into’ the personality of your mentor by believing  in him or her, what he or she stands for, his or her ideals, ideologies, philosophies etc. before what he or she can deliver or has delivered in terms of achievements depending on the profession he  or she is given to.

Your belief in your mentor draws on the potency of a mystery that imparts you with the 'ability' to bring about the same order of results, possibly better that he or she has in his or her career, profession, field, calling, assignment, ministry, family, etc. that endeared you to him or her in the first place. What you believe is what you will receive, what you don’t believe, never expect to receive. What you believe, you don’t only receive, but you become! Your belief in your mentor is a force that draws on the strength, wits, wisdom, grace, that he or she bears, to make happen for you the same order of result he or she has in your desired area or areas of life in which he or she is mentoring you. Until you believe in your mentor(s) neither will his or her precept deliver to you your desired order of results, achievements, success. May I ask you?  Do you think there’s any benefit in following the one you don’t believe in?

Honour your mentor.

2. Honour Your Mentor-
 
In the wise words of one of  my highly revered teachers, he said and I quote: “What you respect you attract”. In other words, what you don’t respect, you repel. There is a measure of respect, reverence and honour that is required in relating with anyone one is involved with in any kind of relationship, how much more your mentor?  The mentor you don’t respect, his or her grace, never expect to attract, let alone commanding his or her order of achievements. Why? At the root of the achievements of your mentor is a grace that makes happen for him or her the result(s) you see in his or her life, career, business etc. endearing you to him or her. If you as a protégé must partake of the grace your mentor bears to deliver the same order of result he or she commands, you’ve got to honour (respect, revere, regard and appreciate) your mentor. Honour him or her not just because he or she is older than you (if he or she is) but because  he or she bears a grace  you NEED to partake of and command the order of results he or she commands. What you are honouring is NOT his or her age, but his or her GRACE (which is divine). Your mentor may be your age mate, but he or she is NOT your 'classmate' ; so honour him or her for his or her grace!

Serve your mentor.

3. Serve Your Mentor- 

As a polymath with skills set in three major vocations -Theatre Practice (acting,script writing, directing), Professional Speaking (inspirational/motivational speaking, training, compeering), Creative Writing (column writing, blogging), I am fortunate to be mentored by some of the finest gentlemen and seasoned professionals that I have ever met in these vocations. I have been positively impacted and still being impacted in no little way by these highly revered mentors of mine. The admirable order and depth of growing achievements I am fortunate to have today in the work I do  can’t be divorced from the excellent mentorship impartations I am receiving from my mentors.

In about 15 years of theatre practice I have scripted, directed and produced over 450 stage works, most of which I played lead roles. I have written 2 film scripts.  In my professional speaking work I have spoken ( inspirational speaking, compeering, training) at hundreds of conferences, seminars, symposia, workshops, events. One of those events had about 350,000 people in (live) attendance. I have facilitated the first ever compere academy in Africa (World Class Compere Academy) with headquarters in Lagos, established four campus branches across Nigeria and graduated over 300 graduands. In my creative writing work, I have written hundreds of articles in a number of magazines, blogs and still do. The quality of my impact and services have been associated with the quality of impact and services of my mentors. Some members of my audience often meet me after speaking or compeering or training or acting on stage to inquire : …“do you have any affiliation with so so and so? (my mentors) I often smile and reply : “Yes, he’s my mentor”…My dear friend, the one who mentors you largely determines the order of results you deliver. Why? A mentor is the prophetic picture of a protégé's preferred future.

However, it is pertinent to state clearly that among other things that I didn’t come into this order of result through my mentors' mentoring without one secret- service (to my mentors). Beyond believing in your mentor, honouring your mentor, serving your mentor or service to your mentor is one of the most potent secrets of tapping into the same grace your mentor bears to deliver for you the same order of results. The mentor you don’t serve, his or her grace you DON’T deserve! My dear friend, this may not sound like a popular school of thought in secular circles of mentorship, it may sound barbaric  or archaic, but I present to you a principle that I have practiced for a total of 14years of being mentored and has brought me endless rewards and still does.

 I hold strongly that until one is a certified doer of a principle, he or she is not a qualified teacher of the same. As a protégé to those who have gone ahead of me as my mentors and a mentor to others looking up to me in the last 11 years, I modestly say I am a certified doer, hence a qualified teacher of this principle of service to your mentor. Serving your mentor (through your time, energy, resources) in all areas that you see an opportunity to serve (not until you are asked to, willingly and cheerfully) is a potent way of relating with your mentor to access the grace he or she bears so that grace can enable you deliver the same order (quality) of results. Any time I have the opportunity to be with my mentors- at home, work- office, co-speaking or compeering, performing together on stage, on a speaking or performing trip, I am always on the look out for an opportunity to serve them- from the menial chores to the professional chores (drive, clean the car, sort traveling luggage, pay internet subscription (not with my money but with the one they give me to pay), pay telephone bills, purchase flight tickets, prepare presentation slides, go act or speak or compeer on their behalves etc. and that is still till date!  Behind the quality of achievements that your mentor delivers (among other things) is a grace (divine enablement) that makes them happen. If you want that quality of achievement, you need the grace your mentor bears and if you must access the grace your mentor bears, (in addditon to believing in him or her, honouring him or her) you will need to serve him or her (willingly and cheerfully). Why do you think I also have today young folks who I mentor and others who seek my mentorship and even request just to serve me?  There is no gimmick about it- "what you sow you will reap..."  Look friend, service is the pathway to honour!

Types of Service-
There are two kinds of service that I know and has worked for me in the past years that I will recommend for you.

Material Service.

1. Material Service-  

This is service to or serving your mentor through your means. There is a measure of material gift you need to sow (invest) into the life of your mentor to tap into the grace he or she bears. Please note, not because your mentor has a need or needs whatever material gift (resources) you sow (invest) into his or her life, NO! On the contrary, you as the protégé are the one that needs the grace your mentor bears to launch forth into your next phase in  life and destiny, hence your need  to sow (invest) the gift into his or her life as you deem fit.

Please this is a mystery, there is NO known textbook or academic explanation for this. However, strangely, it works! I speak experientially as an ardent praticitoner and a fulfilled beneficiary of this mystery till date!  I needed a launch into my next phase of life and destiny badly about a decade ago. All I had at that material time was one meagre sum. I had identified 7 different areas of one of my mentor’s life (personally and professionally) in which I admired the kind of successes he was recording and I needed badly. This meagre sum was what I gave at that time in FAITH and before too long, I began to deliver the same order of results with GREAT EASE and LESS SWEAT. Today, my life, personally and professionally has since totally turned around for the better. Did I say my life is still turning for the better, because this principle has become a lifestyle for me in "relating with my million dollar mentors." Please note, it is not in the volume (of what you give), but in the value you place on it and the faith you have in this ‘mystery’. It has worked for me and still working for me till date, and  many others (protégés), that I’ve taught and still teaching. I trust you can enjoy same.

Manual Service.

2. Manual Service-  

Service to your mentor is not only by your means, but also by your might- manual service (through your time, energy, availability, to run errands etc.) It is doing the 'basest' but rewarding chores for your mentor-the ‘dirty’ jobs so to speak. Till date, I still run errands for mentors delightfully, because you should never be too old, successful, highly placed to serve your mentor. My experience has been that; the grace you draw from your mentor through manual service is GREATER  than that which you draw through your material service. Remember, this grace  is a divine enablement, which is at the root of ANY human exploit. It can't be taught, but only imparted! It is not as though, through your mentor’s teachings, guidance, coaching, training, etc. you will not acquire the skills, knowledge and wisdom, to make you acquire the kind of results that endeared you to him or her, but it is this grace that ACTIVATES ( brings to life, makes real or substantial, tangible) all you’ve learnt from your mentor, to translate into sweatless, stressless and strainless success for you. It is NOT all that are succeeding that are 'sweating', the pathway to that stressless success is MENTORSHIP! Remember? ; “If you know WHERE you are going, your journey is short. If you know HOW to get there, your journey is shorter. If you know WHO has got there, your journey is shortest. If you are WILLING to SUBMIT to WHO has got there by APPRENTICESHIP, and he or she is WILLING to take you on through MENTORSHIP, you are there!” This is my story today my dear friend, it can be yours too. It is my wish for you that your own story too will soon be told! This generation and the one coming will celebrate your monumental feats too!